BULLSHIT!

why now?

yup,itu persoalan yg masih menjerit2 dlm kotak minda aku.aku sampai dh xtau nk kata apa,nk tulis apa,nk taip apa.Worst-->xtau apa yg aku rasa.Marah?Terharu?Kecewa?Sebal?Sesal?semua tak tentu arah.aku hilang fokus.itu yg paling menakutkan.

Ceritanya?hm..kira kesinambungan entri not another puppy love story la.Well, out of sudden he called and explained+confessed.W.T.F man!ya, aku mmg jarang mencarut tp sejak semalam mmg aku tak henti2 mencarut.Banyak dosa aku..

For that guy..i dont need watever explanation you gave me last night.It just makes my world upside down.I never blame you.never at all!as for me, apa yg dh berlaku tu dh ketentuan-Nya.Aku dh berserah.Dah taknak fikir dah.Ok, perasaan tolak tepi.mmg tak mampu nk buat apa.but..that f***king confession that u made..seriously man..effects deeply in my heart.so..what the purpose of it?

Fine..aku mmg bersyukur dpt tau segalanya.tp..argh!!!it doesnt matter anymore.i just want to be normal.Friend of coz.i adore your spirit since i met u 8 years ago.Kalau pun xjd apa2 perhubungan yg special btween us dulu..i really really want to be ur good friend.U r a good advisor, motivator, counsellor..as a brother..u r damn good.and now...oh man...my life become miserable.

tau tak berapa susahnya aku nk lipat n simpan perasaan n memori tu?takes years!and still working on it.why now?why now?why now?after all this years...i've waited for so long..and u just telling me at this time?u r killing me..Arghhhh!!!!!i'm sorry..aku mmg xtau apa yg aku rasa, aku fikir.aku just xbleh terima.realiti yg mendatangkan 1001 makna dan kesan pada aku.what can i do?i'm tired..harapan bertahun2 lama...aku tak nak semua itu.aku letih..letih..i juz want everything normal.i want us to build a friendship..and i need help from u..susah n mustahilkah?

~aku redha dgn apa yg ditentukan oleh-Nya.Bak kata Nasya Aziz dlm Laila Isabella-->kalau ada,adalah.takda nk buat mcmana?thats it~

sorry..entry kali ni lebih manglish...